Belly Breathing

With "Racing Weight" and manorexia being all the January rage, we'll take the bait and make a last-minute change of the parcours in that direction. Sort of. Everyone is claiming to be obese. Even if they're not, really. Some even go so far as to post staged "before" pictures on their blogs. This involves the opposite of the normal solobreak suck your fucking gut in for all you're worth pose, and instead filling up your belly with air, sticking it out as far as possible (huh-huh) for the camera. Then a few weeks later, I suspect, the "extra for Schindler's List" Z-card modeling comps get published, complete with protruding ribcage and alien freckles (Sorry, no time this morning to photoshop Thom's head onto a pic of Rasmussen, but please feel free to steal this idea and publish). Look, here's what I mean (I know this post is pretty rough; it's short and entertaining week remember?)


Exhibit A. When he's not rolling around in dogshit, hotshot 29er mountain bike racer/Ice Weasels co-promoter Thom P employs the belly breathing technique while obscenely posing for animal crackers with his PhotoBooth. Thom should know better, these pics are never a good idea. Damn I miss Zoo's blog...


Thom is not alone here. Here that famous cyclist attempts to fool the early season competition by using the belly breathing technique. He may want us to believe "The Shack" is EJ's Rib Shack in Brockton, but the ripped calves are a dead giveaway here.


Even solobreak gets in on the act from time to time. Eat up kids, your brains need the fuel. Thanks for reading