Out of obligation to my dedicated readers, I present today's hurried post. More like a list of ideas that I'd craft into a thoughtful essay if I still gave a shit. Hey guess what, it's Ground Hog Day. There was even a hint of the dawn's early light at 0600 this morning. Normally that would be an exciting prelude to springtime morning workouts, but with the adjustment of DST pushing the clock forward an hour in just a month or so, why bother? Beyond that, my wake time schedule has migrated several hours later this past year. And you don't care anyway, right?
Blogs: the big topics so far in 2010 have been losing weight and losing shoes. Here are my quick thoughts on those subjects. Barefoot running? I understand the idea. Back to our caveman roots. Fits in great with the Paleo diet. At least there are some voices of reason on the subject, but how many people with today's bite-sized attention span will take the time to digest that before running (ha!) off to CitySports to buy a pair of Vibrams? Funny thing is, I was on the Five-Fingers bandwagon months ago, looking to buy a pair back when nobody had them. But I was only looking for a fashion statement, and something better than cleats to slip on for the walk to the registration table and back to the car (I hate sandals). But yeah, after 45+ years of wearing shoes whenever I venture outside, now I'm going to go with next to nothing when running, perhaps the most strenuous activity that I put my feet through? Something tells me this is an area where a LOT of caution is warranted. Yes, I have weak feet, and all the shoe-born symptoms the barefoot thing is supposed to correct. And most runners have "terrible" form, me included. Or so we're told. But come on. You've made it this far (I'm assuming decades) with shoes, so why not play it safe and give this new fad a few years of free trial on somebody elses feet before risking yours? I read one guy's account of how he ran out and bought Vibrams, went running, and after "only two miles" his calves hurt. Seriously. Guy had probably not walked barefoot any further than to the bathroom since Nixon was president, and now he's trying "only" two miles running on his first try? Are people really that stupid? Did I really just ask that...
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for more barefoot activity. I'm wearing just socks right now. The yoga people and their little slippers were way ahead of us here. My feet are f'd, and weak. And I think I wear my shoes too tight. I like the support. Maybe these facts are related. I can assure you my first barefoot run, if it ever happens, will be much shorter than two miles. Remember streaking? The only thing people wore WAS shoes. Seems as if we're going caveperson, hunting and gathering in shoeless splendor, we might as well go all the way and give up the Craft base layers and Pearl Izumi jackets too. Gewilli clearly leads here, commuting in a loin cloth to toughen himself up for resistance against the harsh elements. All the barefoot runners can take this lesson home. How about some blog pics of just you and your Frees? Bearded (or un-coiffed in 70's Penthouse style) and sans-glasses of course. Maybe a drawing scratched on a stone tablet would be safer and more appropriate...
Weight loss: a couple of neighborhood blogs going on about this one. I'm late, so quickly, why all these words about how you're going to lose the weight, but none back in the fall about how you gained it? I got a complaint about the lack of Nega-Coaching here lately, so I'll be blunt for a change: athletic bulimia does not work. I know; I've tried it. For a long time I was a purge then splurge guy. I never got lean. So many masters (and pre-masters) think they can eat all kinds of shit and it's OK because they're friggin' bike racers (or runners, or whatever). Look, if you eat exactly like the American general public, all training a zillion hours is going to do for is prevent you from being exactly like the general public, which is like 60 pounds overweight, in general. You won't get where you want to be. Here is the solobreak diet challenge. I just made this up in the last thirty seconds, so you know it's an ironclad, well-thought-out plan. Since it's already February 2, you get a free day. The idea here is to prove you can be consistent. Fifteen minutes a day on the trainer. Every day this month. I know you think that 15 minutes is a joke. Guess what? Over the course of the month that is seven hours, the equivalent of at least 1.5 of your weekend "epics," but without the 3000 calorie feast that usually comes afterward. But there's another component: no restaurants. This is difficult, and since "restaurant" is a generalization, I'll allow for some exceptions. If both the kitchen and the street are visible from the seating, the place is not a chain, the menu is unique, and the waitresses (ok, waitstaff, that's for my three female and one closet gay man readers) are cute, you are allowed two or three trips total for the month, so long as your meal is something that you could have made yourself. But it's still better not to go at all. You know restaurants are evil, why else would they make you wear shoes? We're out of time. Try it and report back. Thanks for reading, you fat fucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment