This ain't really life

Who can identify the artist for those lyrics?

Way back when, I wrote that I was considering a post on names I've been called. I think I'll expand that to things that have been said about me. After all, this is all about me. Back in grades K-11 (since I never made it to 12), I was told many times I was too serious. Ironically, I was also told many times I was not serious enough. Seriously. I've read some blogs lately which I think might be too serious, by authors who are taking themselves too seriously. I'm not going to tell you which ones, because your boss says you're already wasting too much time reading blogs, and I shouldn't give you more reasons to let your mind wander at work. Besides, I already said they were too serious, so seriously, why would I want to recommend them? I want this to be fun.

Oooooohhh, let's get serious. Not. I've been called an asshole, an underachiever, a loser, a complainer, a douchebag, and a straw man, and that's just from the people with no imagination. I've also been on the receiving end of the heard too often by any tell-it-like-it-is realist, the "you've got a bad attitude." Then there are those who are a bit more original. After a particularly difficult meeting that included the then-CEO of my former employer (who was shit-canned not long afterwards), he pronounced that I had "an aura of negativity." Shit man, the guy was a suspenders wearing stuffed-shirt dickhead (never been called that...), but I must admit that one to the hall of fame. Woo-hoo! I've got an aura! A line-level employee at the same company, a particularly cantankerous older woman, once yelled at me in a fit of rage "you're nothing but a garbage mouthed flake!" Again, pretty cool. Still though, my absolute all-time favorite goes way, way, back, when my teenage cohort Pimpin' Fred told me frankly "you're critical as a motherfucker."

Critical as a motherfucker. It's been 27 years since I've seen Pimpin' Fred, but that one has stuck with me. You had to hear it coming from PF to appreciate the true meaning. Picture a 19 year old George Jefferson/Sherman Helmsley and you'll get the idea. He had a way with words.

Now my mates call me Fuckin' Foley, or FnF for short. We have our own little private mailing list, and since we are all pals, I can give them the untempered, critical as a motherfucker wisdom I so often keep inside. Even still, the years have left me much kinder and gentler; I am far more aware of the feelings and sensitivities of those I am so priviledged to share the planet with. Not everyone can handle the truth, at least not the way I sometimes interpret it. My teammates are pretty cool, but deep down they are still a bunch of pussies, so even though I let them think they are getting the full monty, it is really FnF light. Sometimes. Seriously. Thanks for reading.