This picture has nothing to do with this post. It's here because I like it, and it's my fucking blog.
The blog has it's anniversary next Monday, but Nega-coach went live four years ago today. I've learned a little bit during these four years. My teammates no longer soft pedal to keep from embarrassing me. The fear is gone. And I don't even Twitter. Perhaps all this learning has left me too easy on them. After all, I've made an honest effort to avoid hurting people's delicate feelings. Kind and gentle. The blogging hasn't gotten much easier either. I'm struggling to keep this thing going. The challenge is keeping it fresh without losing the edge. Which reminds me of some advice I dished out to one of my clients (motherfucking deadbeats) about time-trialing. On second thought, I'll save that for another time.
This whole coaching thing. What the fuck? Is this shit really that hard? Don't answer that. Coaching is important. So is having a trainer. The kind that tells you what to do to get fit, not the kind that you use to ride your bike indoors. (That's for my ESL readers). For some people. My issue here is athletes who think they're one in the same. Or maybe they can only afford one person. But I'll bet most of you don't even think about it. If you were able to follow this paragraph without getting lost, you can have a donut. Or a Nu2go bar, or a MuscleBrownie or something.
If you're a beginner type, then it probably doesn't matter. For one, you don't need a trainer. Any training you do will be good training, because you're a fucking beginner. So you probably need a "coach," because since you're a fucking beginner, you probably don't have a clue about how to go about racing. Coaches are supposed to be knowledgeable about competing, and be able to impart wisdom on their impressionable subjects. Think of all the stick and ball sports. That's how it works right? You want somebody with real experience, someone who understands the game. But you wouldn't take training advice from a fat fuck like Bill Parcells, would you?
Before I go any further, a quick comment on "motivator" coaches. This may seem like the pot calling the kettle black, but if you hired a coach because you "need someone to be accountable to" or you "need a kick in the ass," then just give the fuck up right now and go away. Please. Why in the fucking world someone wants to be good at something they don't even like to do enough to get out the fucking door and do it on their own will forever be a mystery to me. Rant off. Onward.
Even the best riders (and other athletes) have a trainer, or prepatore as they call them on the continent. And it's really not just someone to smuggle your horse medicines over the border in false-bottomed saddlebags strapped to a Vespa. Now that training has gone all Daria with the science words and shit, putting a professional on retainer might be a good idea for some people. Might. If that's what you need. But there are lots of athletes, bike racers anyway, who know how to train, who have the fitness, who just don't have any fucking idea of what to do with it. They need a coach, a director, not an over-read and underfed geek selling workout schedules.
Click to embiggen.
Yeah, I know, some "coaches" are qualified to do both jobs. Well enough anyway. Be honest though, have you ever thought about it? Like we say on Negacoach, if you wanted to think, you wouldn't be hiring a coach at all would you? It's so nice to clink cocoa mugs with all my favorite people, sharing some good times and warmth. Here's to four more years. I'm going to try to make it through the next four posts. That's challenging enough. Thanks for reading.
Here's your punishment for rolling your eyes at my crappy post.
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