Ramble on

With Gewilli out on vacation this week, the local blogospheric ozone layer has a big hole in it. Most of you must read Ge, and if you're bored at work, he's the one blogger you can count on to put up some new content everyday -- whether he has nothing to say, a lot to say, or both at the same time. Amusing if nothing else. I've been known to pen a Gewilli parody or two, and Monday on the ride in to work, I had a few ideas, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, or if it's a thing to do right. Maybe it would have gone something like this:

Rode in alone on the bike path today, just me and the Cruller grinding along in the 40x11, hump, hump, hump, pounding out a rhythmic cadence that reminded me of a whaling song we used to sing when I lived on Hokkaido as a kid. Brilliant stuff. The path was almost empty today, jest me and the seagulls. The pathletes all go into hiding once the temperature drops below 60. Not me. I loves this cold. Love it, love it love! OOOOOH can you feel it? It's almost time for cross, wonderful cross. I love cross. Did see one other rider on the path, some fahking sissy on a red Specialized with long sleeves and knee warmers. Fahking panzy. Dude gave me a strange look too. I was dressed perfectly in the cool air -- just a brown paper bag on top, perfect to keep the wind off my chest, all I fahking need, gardening gloves, and my V1 Pro helmet with the Ted Nugent sticker on the back. Down below instead of my skinsuit, I had a special ball sack I made from an old Bellweather seat bag and some Benotto bike ribbon. Brilliant fahking invention of mine. Spent the weekend perfecting it while waiting for some nummy peas and pasta with just a hint of tree bark chopped finely and mixed with freshly grated organic hard cheese and some earthworms that washed up in the driveway. Ohhhhhh so good. First try it came out way too big, so I took an old latex tube and made it into a condom catheter. Brilliant stuff. I ran the other end up my ass crack and then down along the seat tube, with the open end right over the chain behind where the front derailleur would be if I wasn't a pac northwest via michigan hard guy man's man who might work at Brown and cry all the time but still knows how to live off the land and render deer and wear hip waders and bow hunt and all that other manly redneck stuff, soze I run a single chainring. Brilliant. Now I can apply Willilubes ® to the chain on the fly, and save time on pit stops. Now you might be wundahin why all this work on a custom nutsack when I coulda jus worn my regular loin cloth? Ahhhhhh, well see, my other weekend project was whipping up some homemade Bag Balm using just organic flour and some leftovers from my junior high chemistry set. What kinda fahkin retard would pay $6 for Bag Balm when he could waste six hours making his own? That's what's wrong with the world today. There's all these people who aren't me. Ah, fahk it. Brilliant. Peace out, is it time for cross yet? HEDWHENCH.

That might be what it would have looked like... It was chilly last night though. Everyone at the track was crying about it. Good turnout too. We did "real" flying 200s and my time was 14.5 (49.6 kph). Pretty pathetic, but it put me in the middle of the group, and since nearly everyone was an "A" Tony split us up by times for the subsequent races and I ended up on the fast end of the slow group, winning the scratch race. I even made it past the first round of the sprints. At the end of the night we did a miss and out with everyone and I just took off and lasted about eight laps before getting swarmed, last, and the hook.

An oh yeah, I think my road season is suddenly over. There are not too many races left, and I kinda have an attitude about them, so maybe I should skip out. I'm going over the fall calendars (running, duathlon, cx, road, mtb, other) now to try and plan things out. Nobody noticed that the sidebar got updated. I won my age group at Mt A, so I guess the season ends on a high note. At first I wasn't sure if I should count it, but it met all the criteria, open USCF race, 20+ rider field, so there you go. Not exactly a 100 rider field at a spring classic, but I'm clinging to it. Now it's been 58 days since I ran. Last year I did my first run on Aug 21, so it might be time. One thing this past two months has shown me is that I'm a bike racer at heart. I haven't missed the running. It fits in good with the cold though. Ramble ramble. Thanks for reading.