Seen at the races

Special Cronoman Edition

Photos courtesy of Sean Suprenant
Here the Cronoman poses with his mouth gaping at the Gate City Cyclone on Saturday.
Does this look like the correct way to ride a crit?. I always suspected that he does not pay attention, and now I know. Notice the NEBC rider in the photo on the right, no doubt a solobreak reader, as he demonstrates the proper way to scan the crowd for hot underage chicks in short shorts. (I have no excuse for having my eyes closed). At least somebody cares enough to study, unlike the Cronoman and the guy wearing baby blue in the back of the photo. There we have Feltslave looking behind him at Norton; yet another "student of the sport" who just doesn't seem to retain the lessons. I try, honestly I try, but this teaching thing can be quite frustrating at times.

Speaking of which, the best "seen at the races" this weekend did not actually occur at the race venue at all, but it was close enough. After the crit, as the host club we had a lot of work to do, tearing down all the barricades and what not. Once the last hay bale was stacked and all the Gu packets were picked up (WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE ANYWAY? It was a 45 minute crit. You needed a gel? Dumbasses), I followed the Cronoman back to his crib to get cleaned up. A few blocks away from the race, we're stopped at a light in downtown Nashua and I hear a huge commotion in front of me. I thought it was a Latin gang war breaking out, or perhaps some sort of road rage incident. The crowd seemed to be yelling "Eduardo, Eduardo" but after a few seconds I realized it was "Fucking M*rro, Fucking M*rro." Apparently the "nicest guy in the peloton" (who came up with that? Obviously someone who has never had a wheel hurled at them after a race) is also the "most popular teacher in high school." This scholarly group of young tilt-hatted NH residents had spotted him and was so enthralled by his presence you would have thought they'd seen Elvis or something. This was a mixed-gender group too, and the screaming and yelling continued as they jumped up and down excitedly for a solid minute, when the light finally turned and we drove off. Holy crap. Maybe you had to be there. The Cronoman - Rock Star Shop Teacher. Sorry I didn't have the camera out for that one.

Last but not least, continuing with our Cronoman theme, we have this gem from Mt A:



Who the fuck wears a knit winter hat and a thermal Warsaw jacket when they're on the trainer? For the record, upon observing this crime against nature, I clicked the lap timer on my Polar to record the temperature -- 79 degrees. It was humid as all shit too, so the heat index was probably about 85. And the bonehead wore arm warmers in the race as well. Like I said, I try, I really do, but sometimes it just seems hopeless. Thanks for reading.

PS - Oh yeah, and Feltslave was pretty pissed to see the Cronoman racing in black ankle socks. Apparently this is Feltslave's trademark, and he's not pleased to see the copy cat. What is it about these Hupsters and their sock styles?