The Training Partner from Hell

A month ago, Strangelife wrote a post about a guy named Dave. Strangelife's Dave was apparently a guy known for losing his temper on training rides, having emotional outbursts, road raging, and generally not getting along with people. Sounds like a dick, but SL says the man also had some endearing qualities that made other riders welcome him as a training partner, despite his dickheadedness. Hmmm. Sound like anyone we know?

Well, not quite, but the general idea of someone who you want to train with even though he treats you like shit? Could I be that person? I'm not a road rager at all. How about being hard on training partners? Well, maybe. Last week I got called out for being such a dick, by one of the best training partners I ever had. You may have missed it, because it quickly disappeared. If you're a skilled googler, you might be able to find it in their cache. Truth be told, Strangelife's post had me considering penning this post even prior to seeing the other one, but for some reason I couldn't find his the last time I looked. Then when it was pointed out that I was a TRD (training ride dickhead), at first I figured keeping quiet on the entire subject might be prudent. However, today I found Strangelife's post again, and what the hell, I think I can do this right without any confusion, stepping on toes, or failure to protect the innocent. Are you following this at home? Good.

I like to train alone. I always have. I don't need training partners, I enjoy the time by myself, and I focus better without distractions. I firmly believe that a willingness and desire to train alone are essential elements to success. But humans are social beasts. Training with others has its advantages, and there are some things that are better done with another person (duh) or even with a group. That's where you come in.

My problem seems to be an intolerance of numerous behaviors when out training. I've been told by my many, many different training partners that no matter what they do, I seem to be displeased. Too fast, too slow, too far out in the road, not echeloning properly, talking too much, whistling, exaggerated breathing, poor choice of routes, incorrect hand signaling, trying to speak foreign languages that you've no idea how to use and that nobody else on the ride speaks anyway, wearing smelly clothes, not bringing money, being late, being early, attacking and leaving me behind, getting dropped and making me wait, eating too much and farting, not eating enough and bonking, did I leave anything out? See why I'm better off training alone? Yet for some reason I keep getting invited on rides. Sometimes even runs, but that's a discipline where you really want to leave me be.

Does every non-solo ride have to suck? No. I hope my training partners know that. There are those rides that make it all worth it. The ones where you're both, or all, on your limit, but nobody is giving anything away. There's not much talking, much less complaining. Just intensity, the good kind. When it's all done and everyone is wasted and just sitting on the porch or the lawn or whatever, sucking down the last few swigs of liquid out of your last bottle, wiping your brow, and peeling off layers of sticky clothing, no discussion is needed. That's when you just look at each other and know it was a great fucking ride.

Thanks for reading.