Cycling People

Well, once again, Solobreak was left off of People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" list. WTF? Any of the ladies who have known me and seen me dance know just what a travesty and a sham this is. And Solobreak wasn't the only cyclist dissed by these fools. In fact, I don't think there were hardly any athletes at all who even received an honorable mention. Do you have to be a famous entertainer to make this list? Then why don't they call it "Sexiest Rich as all fucking shit male entertainer alive?" And even then, who picks this shit? From the baby-faces on some of the top ten, I'm guessing it's a blue-ribbon panel of banished Congressmen and Catholic priests.

Sticking up for the rights of cyclists is part of our mission here. Beyond that, the power of the web and blogging has taken publishing out of the hands of the few and cast it in to the capable arms of the many. Print-media crap like People is going down like the back of the pack at a Cat 5 crit. So here we go, I'm launching my own "sexiest men alive" list, sure to become a worldwide phenomenon.

#5 Solobreak



What the hell, you didn't think I was going to leave myself off the list, did you? Yeah sure, my habits and mannerisms read like a list of turnoffs in a just about any woman's bio, but with wit, charm, athleticism, and dance moves like mine, none of that matters.

#4 Zoo



All I have to say here is "Save a little for next time dude."

#3 Gewilli



These stupid lists always have some father-figure guy on there, with a bunch of crap about how nothing is sexier than a man who cries, changes diapers, and makes waffles in the morning. Yeah, sure, whatever you say. This plays well to the couch cows who buy People, so we'll take a chance with it too. A close and tough one, Moveitfred and Feltslave were the also rans.

#2 C Todd



What list would be complete without a martini wine drinking, business class flying, loft living, silk tie wearing, chick pillowing party machine like CTodd? From the pic, you can obviously see the ladies are all over this guy. Thanks to the paparazzi for snagging this one. Bold got a few votes in this category, but since he hasn't made the switch from multi-sporter to bike racer yet, he just didn't get the nod. Besides that, once it was noted that CTodd had a copy of The Reluctant Metrosexual on his bookshelf (I'm not making this up!), the deal was sealed. Maybe next year Bold.

#1 This Person



'Cause nothing is sexier than a buff man's body, especially when it's attached to a woman. Or is that Gene Simmons?

Thanks for reading!

note: I stand corrected on CTodd's choice of adult beverage. I could have sworn there was a martini post back in his archives somewhere. And forgive me for the "nothing is sexier than a buff man's body" thing. Just shows I've been hanging out with the Cronoman too long (and he's probably pissed that I left Tommy M. off the list...) Really Ge, this was pure marketing. Until yesterday, the comments count has been way down. Looks like controversy sells better than sex. Who knew?